What are some of
the foundational principles/premises of Preparation for
Parenting? (pgs. 17,23, 26-33, 43)
PFP is based on the belief that childrearing is a responsibility
given by God to parents. Parents are to guide, nurture, and
train their children. The Bible is silent concerning the method
of feeding a baby. It does not speak of demand-feeding, clock-feeding,
or the Parent Directed Feeding plan. No method should be labeled
as spiritually wrong or right. Though the Bible is silent on
infant feeding, basic scriptural principles should not be ignored.
Order, sound judgment, love, patience, care, strong marriages,
and that which promotes soberminded assessment are but a few
biblical imperatives to consider.
The best evaluation of any parenting philosophy is found in
the overall results. New and expectant parents ought to consider,
evaluate, and decide for themselves which philosophy is most
consistent with biblical thought. Review the options, examine
all the alternative theories, observe the end product, and
make an informed decision.
When a woman becomes a mother, she does not stop being a wife,
daughter, sister, friend, or neighbor. A mother feeds her baby
when he is hungry, but takes advantage of the first few weeks
of life to guide the baby's hunger patterns by a basic routine.
A baby is a welcome member of the family, and not the center
of it. With this in mind, everybody wins, baby, mother, father,
and the often-forgotten siblings. A husband/wife relationship
is a basic prerequisite for optimal parenting and both the
husband and wife need to be active in parenting of their child.
What is Parent-Directed
Feeding (PDF)? (pgs. 43,51)
It is a proactive approach to infant care. It creates and
maintains healthy patterns for your baby, which enhance all
phases of development. At the same time, PDF is flexible enough
to meet the growing emotional needs of the child through infancy
and the toddler years. The PDF plan involves more than just
feeding a baby. It is a twenty-four hour strategy designed
not only to meet the baby's needs, but those of the entire
family. PDF is made up of three basic activities that are repeated
in rhythmical cycle throughout the day: feeding time, waketime,
and naptime.
What has caused the
popularity of Preparation for Parenting and On Becoming
Babywise?
There are many reasons why these programs are popular, but
three main reasons are seen in Dr. Bob Bucknam's article in
the May 1998 edition of The AAP News.
1) Healthy Sleep
A sampling of 520 babies revealed that PDF helps babies organize nighttime
sleep. By the end of the ninth week for "Babywise" participants, 87 percent
of breastfed girls and 77 percent of breastfed boys begin sleeping through
the night (7 to 8 hours). By 12 weeks, both groups reach 97 percent success,
and both start sleeping 10 to 11 hours at night. The "Babywise" mom feels
healthier as a result of her established feeding routine. She gets uninterrupted
restful sleep. Fatigue is not a friend to a nursing mom or baby.
2) Successful Breastfeeding
Despite numerous benefits to breast-feeding, the Academy notes that "in 1995,
59.4 percent of women in the United States were breast-feeding exclusively
or in combination with formula feeding at the time of hospital discharge; only
21.6 percent of mothers were nursing at six months, and many of these were
supplementing with formula." (Pediatrics, December 1997, pp. 1036-1037). A
convenient sampling of more than 240 mothers following the PDF principles demonstrated
that 88 percent of mothers who start with the program breastfeed, and 80 percent
of those moms breastfeed exclusively, and 70 percent continued into the sixth
month. The average PDF mom breastfeeds 33.2 weeks. When you add to these statistics
the benefits of uninterrupted nighttime sleep, it is easy to understand why
so many attachment parenting mothers find their way to "Babywise."
3) Excellent Weight Gain
Can faster weight gain be attributed to a particular method of breastfeeding
(routine or ad-lib)? A review of 400 infants, 200 demand fed, 200 PDF from
four different pediatric practices, and commissioned by GFI Educational Services,
revealed the following.
While there was
no significant difference between the two groups, "Babywise" breastfed
infants gain weight slightly faster in each half-pound category
than those fed ad lib.
Even when these babies began sleeping 8 to 10 hours at night,
there was no significant change in weight gain performance.
In summary, we believe infants, pretoddlers and toddlers with
healthy eating and sleep habits, are more content, easier to
manage, faster learners, and happier children.
What are some benefits
of PFP and PDF?
For parents:
This proactive style of parenting brings predictability to life during a great
time of adjustment for new parents. It enables moms and dads to appropriately
meet their baby's needs and parent with confidence. (50) This predictability
is a great tool in the early detection of an illness or other potential medical
problems related to infants. PFP offers practical guidelines for daily care
and nurture of an infant. PFP provides answers to various newborn scenarios
and advice on a plethora of infant-related topics such as baby equipment,
diapers, growth spurts, pacifiers, teething, weaning and more (167-186).
Successful breastfeeding for PDF moms (66-67)
For infants:
Healthy sleep. The majority of infants will begin sleeping 7-8 hours at night
between 7 and 9 weeks of age. (55-57) In addition, the infant will not need
to be manipulated to go to sleep. (Gadgets, rocking, walking, riding in the
car, nursing to sleep, etc.) (59-60) Consistent and steady weight gain (94-96)
What measures does
Preparation for Parenting take to guard the healthy growth
of an infant?
PFP places the highest priority on the health and safety of
the infant. For this reason, parents are empowered to make
their own objective evaluation of their baby's health, and
encouraged to contact medical professionals for regular checkups
or if any problem arises.
Empowering Parents
Chapter 5, titled "Monitoring Your Baby's
Growth", teaches parents to recognize the signs of a healthy
baby. It discusses seven indicators for healthy growth at various
stages of an infant's life. For example, the "Healthy Growth
Indicators" for a baby during weeks 2-4 are as follows: Your
baby is nursing at least eight times a day. Your baby over
the next three weeks has two to five or more yellow stools
daily. (This number will probably decrease after the first
month.) Your baby during this period should start to have six
to eight wet diapers a day (some saturated). Your baby's urine
is clear (not yellow). Your baby has a strong suck, you see
milk on the corners of his mouth, and you can hear an audible
swallow. You're noticing increasing signs of alertness during
your baby's waketime. Your baby is gaining weight or growing
in length. We recommend your baby be weighed within a week
or two after birth. Weight gain is one of the surest indicators
of growth.
The chapter then refers the reader to the end of the book
where the Healthy Baby Growth Charts are located. Each chart
allows several healthy growth indicators to be monitored and
logged on a daily basis. Increased confidence in decision-making
and decreased anxiety are two very positive consequences for
parents.
The following exhortation
is listed at the bottom of each "Healthy
Baby Growth Chart": "Any two consecutive days of deviation
from what is listed as normal should be reported immediately
to your pediatrician." (emphasis in text)
Encouraging Parents to Contact Medical Professionals In addition
to empowering parents to recognize and evaluate their baby's
health, parents are also encouraged to seek medical advice
and expertise.
"If your baby exhibits any of the unhealthy growth indicators,
notify your pediatrician and have your baby weighed." (94)
"If you have a low weight-gain baby, seek your physician's
specific recommendations as to how often your baby should be
fed." (96)
In a section discussing
why a baby may be "failing to thrive." Suggestions
are given to help counteract or correct these difficulties.
For babies who are suspected to have an underlying medical
problem that does not allow them to eat properly, the advice
given is to "Call your pediatrician immediately." (96-99)
"Breast-feeding proficiency is usually a matter of standard
review in childbirth classes. For additional help, consider
taking a breast-feeding class at your local hospital or renting
a 'how-to' video." (104)
Are parents encouraged
to use flexibility when implementing Preparation for Parenting?
Preparation for Parenting discourages parents from adopting
a rigid and inflexible mindset. The following quotes provide
some examples:
"It is our experience that both baby and mom do better when
a baby's life is guided by a flexible routine . . . It [PDF]
has enough structure to bring security and order to your baby's
world, yet enough flexibility to give mom freedom to respond
to any need at any time." (43)
"The mother who insists on watching the clock to the minute
lacks confidence in decision making. The clock is in control,
not the parent. The hyper-schedulist insists on a strict schedule,
often nursing her baby no more often than every four hours.
Enslavement to the clock is almost as great an error as a mother
who is in bondage to thoughtless emotions." (98)
"Your baby's normal feeding periods fall between 2 1/2 and
3 1/2-hour intervals. But there are times when you may feed
sooner than those time increments." (113)
"There will be times when a situation will dictate a temporary
suspension of the [PDF] guidelines. Remember you are the parent,
endowed with experience, wisdom, and common sense. Trust these
attributes first, not an extreme emotion or the rigidity of
the clock. When special situations arise, allow context to
be your guide." (114-115)
"Most of your day will be fairly routine and predictable,
but there will be times when you may need more flexibility
due to unusual circumstances. Your life will be less tense
if you consider the context of each situation and respond appropriately
for the benefit of everyone." (116)
"Remember, unplanned disruptions will come into your day.
Count on it. But also take comfort in knowing that flexibility
is a natural part of a healthy routine." (196)
How should a parent
respond when a baby cries?
This question is
very difficult to answer, especially for first-time parents.
For this reason, PFP devotes a whole chapter
to help parents accurately assess their baby's cry, discern
the cause behind the cry, and then respond appropriately. In
addition, parents learn when it is normal or abnormal for their
baby to cry, and what may be causing the baby to cry. The Ezzos
never encourage parents to simply let their baby "cry it out".
The chapter closes with a four-step plan for parents to promote
proper evaluation and action when their baby cries.
1. Listen--for the type of cry
2. Think--about the reason why the baby might be crying
3. Pray--that God will give wisdom (James 1:5)
4. Take Action--based on a proper evaluation of the circumstances (150-151)
What does PFP say
about breastfeeding?
Though PFP addresses breastfeeding in great detail, these
few paragraphs discuss some of the many benefits of breastfeeding.
"Nothing beats breastfeeding
for physiological benefits to baby. That is plain fact. Mother's
milk is the complete and
perfect food?nothing short of miraculous. Easily digested,
it provides excellent nutrition and contains the right balance
of proteins and fats. It also provides additional antibodies
necessary for building your baby's immune system.
"According to the
American Academy of Pediatrics, there is strong evidence
that breast milk decreases the incidence and/or
severity of diarrhea, lower respiratory infection, bacterial
meningitis, and urinary tract infection. The Academy also points
out various studies demonstrating breast milk's protection
against Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, allergic diseases, Crohn's
disease, ulcerative colitis, and other chronic digestive diseases.
"There is more good news. Unlike formula, which needs to be
prepared, stored, warmed, and packed for every outing, breast
milk is always ready whenever and wherever you go. And you
never need to wonder about the milk's freshness. Inside mother,
it won't go bad. Breastfeeding is also known to speed the return
of mother's uterus to its normal size and shape which is another
healthy consideration for a postpartum mom." (65-66)
Breast or Bottle
Feeding what is best?
Preparation for Parenting desires to give a fair representation
of the positives of both approaches and let each family come
to their own decision. Though there are many advantages to
breastfeeding, we do not think women should feel guilty if
they choose to bottlefeed.
"When it comes to nourishing baby, mother's milk is clearly
superior to formula. Now for the stickier issue of nurturing.
Is breast superior to bottle? In times past, experts said yes.
Stressing the value of breastfeeding, they associated bottle-feeding
with child rejection. Considered to be lacking warmth, a bottle-feeding
mom was accused of renouncing her biological role as a woman
and her emotional role as a mother. Others considered bottle-fed
children to have less of an advantage in life than those who
were breast-fed. In truth, studies over the last sixty years
which attempted to correlate methods of infant feeding with
later emotional development failed to support any of these
conclusions. A mother's overall attitude toward her child far
outweighs any single factor, including manner of feeding .
. . "Again, we cannot overstate breast milk's advantage in
infant nourishment. However, if you choose not to nurse, you
can't nurse, or if you decide to discontinue nursing within
the first twelve months, the decision will not make you an
unloving mother. Just as breastfeeding doesn't make you a good
mother, bottle-feeding won't make you a bad one." (81)
Do the Ezzos use
the crucifixion of Christ to justify letting a baby cry?
No! The Ezzos don't believe or teach that Jesus hung on a
cross to teach us that mothers should let their babies cry.
The following comments were made in the context of encouraging
parents to lovingly respond to their babies based on an appropriate
evaluation of the baby's needs.
"Acting on the assumption
that God responds to us mechanically and on demand is wrong.
We believe such a notion positions
our Holy God as a celestial genie sitting on the edge of His
throne, waiting to jump at our every cry in order to demonstrate
His love. He demonstrated His love by sending His Son to Calvary.
His nonintervention in the suffering of His Son is the ultimate
example that speaks against the fraudulent notion that love
always requires immediate intervention. Non-action does not
indicate a lack of love. It was not true at Calvary, and it
is not true in parenting.
"The point is the
decision to never let a baby cry cannot be validated by God's
character because His love cannot be
so narrowly defined. Even when we do not get what we want,
His love is still present. Consider prayer. Is there ever a
time during seemingly unanswered prayer that God stops loving
us? Obviously not. It is the same way with parents and their
children; love abides under all circumstances.
"Although our heavenly
Father hears all of our cries, He answers them according
to His timetable not ours. The verification
of His love is not dependent on His immediate action. He is
all-knowing and loving and meets our needs in His time. (137)
Thanks
for visiting our Preparation for Parenting
questions page. Whether you are brand new to GFI or looking
for information
on
a particular
topic, we trust our answers will be helpful to you. If you
would like more information about Along
the Infant Way,
consider reading the first chapter of the workbook or visiting
the GFI
Store. (Numbers in parentheses identify the page number(s)
in the workbook from which the answer was taken.)